Uncommon Sense and Sensibility

Do not normalize deplorable scumbags

The same irresponsible professional media that shamelessly sold #RussiantRumpRanger propaganda to a little less than 40 million ignorant, bigoted, cowardly Amerikan voters is now calling upon the outrage rational members of society not to further alienate the vicious immoral jerks that showed up at the polls to vote their black consciences and put one of their idols in the White House.

I misread a story by Sarah Kaplan today

It was a story about Neanderthals. It originally appeared in The Washington Post, but I saw it in The Oregonadian/OregonadiaLive, an Advance Publication for click mass debaters. The story nestled among other unrelated journalistic gems from stiff and wired reports about the Border Patrol no longer being able to perform background checks on new hires because of funding cuts and the need to hire thousands more agents to kill or capture Mexicans under President* Donnie Dimwit’s hingeless immigration policies. …

Ain’t got no papers on myself

One of the great albums from the late sixties was Forever Changes by Love, and this is one of the great songs from that great album.

There are quite a few other great songs on the album, but this one seems particularly relevant in the world we currently find ourselves stumbling through, with a maniacal sociopath in the White House, surrounded by his hand-picked deplorable bunch of desperate wanker whackers.

While the White House press whores snored...

…we watched another episode of The Man In The High Castle, which is about what the United States would be like if Donald “Jerkwad” Trump had convinced Russia to invest in this nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™) in exchange for a cabinet of deplorables willing to launder rubles for state-sponsored terrorists, and everyone thought it was something to put behind us so we could get on the with business of building walls and making the world safe for freedumbmocracy.

Donnie Drumpf Takes a Dump

If Frank Zappa were still alive, he’d still be working on the master idea behind the project object, maybe even recycle Dickie’s Such An Asshole, but I’d much rather see a contemporary version of Bobby Brown

Forty mice researchers will study...

I was scanning a piece on the latest Space-X mission to the international space station (ISS) and my eyes suddenly fixed on these words: “40 mice researchers will study,” and my mind stuck right there. It could have misinterpreted ISS as ISIS and spiraled out into an imaginary multiiverse where it turns out that Muslims have gotten around Trump’s travel harassment but taken up extraterrestrial travel to avoid airport screeners, but I got stuck instead on the mice researchers. 

In a previous life I was on the CIMA Product Safety Council

Sanity poster CD

It was a much easier job than hanging turkeys at the Ralston Purina plant in Springdale, Arkansas. In fact, I don’t remember much about my duties or responsibilities beyond attending a couple of conferences and talking with other people who worked for companies that only cared about product safety to minimize their liability when one of their products contributed to the death of a future Trump supporter. …

A Little Moronism

I don’t know why but whenever I think about the great American political system and how it has been continually spiraling into irrelevance since the late 60s, I start trying to remember exactly how the little moron joke goes. 

Demilitarizing Amerika

The day after Dysauguration Day, 2017, all of the so-called illegal voters who deprived King Ubu II of the Untied States of Hysteria the popular vote he so desperately longs for were joined by hundreds of thousands of potential illegal voters around the world to protest his installation as a toxic shock trigger who was not (allegedly) a defective IUD. 

Is it time yet for shamer shaming?

Has the whole world turned lapsed Catholic? Has Trumpism so firmly taken hold of our great NOMF™ that any unfiltered observation of something visible in the actual world must be condemned and the utterer attacked by mindless hordes of Demoblicans, Independpants, Lispetarians, Milletennials, Vibratogogues, and Republocraps? 

Uncommonly sensible gun control suggestions

  1. Put a 5 buck deposit on individual units of ammunition. It works to keep idiots from tossing as many bottles and cans from their car windows as they used to, and the homeless would have an additional source of income, cleaning up after drive-bys and good old boy target outings in the woods.

It’s beginning to sound like we like Auschwitz, every time we vote

Now that Trump has been twice chosen (first by the rubes in November and today by the rubes the earlier rubes hired to do their dirty work) and is soon to become our naked emperor, it appears that America is suddenly greater than ever once again, and the war on Christmas is over. …

The libtard media still doesn’t get it

If you had read The One Minute President back when the country was run by the wife of a guy with mid-life Alzheimer’s, you would have been far better prepared when the nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™) of which you are a dutiful citizen underwhelmingly voted to put an illiterate toxic mango in the White House. 

From the uncommonly sensible archives

Here are a few obnoxious observations about the state of the art stupidity that underpins the immorality at the heart of our nation of miserable fucks (NOMF™). The selections are random, like life itself. They will neither help you get to heaven or make your life any less meaningful while vertical. …

Now more than ever...

…you need real fake press credentials to distinguish yourself from the corporate, social, and lame-stream media shills who have put the truth in a stranglehold since Reagan made that deal with the Iranians to hold off releasing the Muricans hostages until after Jimmy Carter was booted out of office by the predecessors to the neocondi rice and beaners who began our never-ending campaign war of error.

Carve the head of President Donald in butter!

I just noticed this contest in my inbox. 

Join me in honoring this horrifying precedent-elect in a way that really fits his enormous appeal. The voting ends tonight, so remember to vote early and vote often.

If We Outlaw fake news only outlaws will do real reporting...

To paraphrase St. A. J. Liebling, Freedom of the press belongs to those who make it up as they go along. All the blithering horse exhaust about how fake news influenced the 2016 election and put an impotent asshole in the White House does a disservice to the purpose of real fake news, as opposed to the propaganda that has masqueraded for journalism for the past several decades.

Girlcott the Inauguration on January 20, 2017

Why should boys have all the cotting? If no girls show up in Washington for Trump’s swearing in, whose pussy is he going go grab? Melania’s? She’s too old for him.

Update 2/18/17. More tweaks to services and functionality. Some advertising here and there. If someone could test the comments, I’d appreciated it. The tabs above have changed slightly. Yesterday now includes material from iBlog, iWeb, AOL, and an earlier Sandvox site on mac.com. Today will gather posts from the original Doctor Faustroll Writes The Wrongs that appeared at Today.com during 2008-09. 

Soon this page will be 86’d with Cognitive Dissent moving up to take its place. 

Update 2/12/17. Disqus comments installed on the Uncommon Sense and Unsense Archives tab. Report any problems you find. Thanks.

Update February 9, 2017 16:51: Finally getting around to testing a couple of comment services, and I hope to have comments working before the month is over. For now, if you need to reach me or comment on anything you read here, select the Ask US tab and fill out the form, or tweet @doctorfaustroll.

The Uncommon Sense tab brings up the current blog while Unsense Archives contains old postings from a variety of online sorties over the last 35 years. You can use the Site Map to flip quickly between all the material.

The OMP (One Minute President) and PPOCCL (Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat) tabs are placeholders for now. OMP will be updated soon with information about how to purchase your own copy of the 1986 worst-selling self-help book, which nevertheless gave us two terrible presidents (Fubar Bush and Donnie Dumbo) and may provide you with the incentive to one day take over this formally great nation of ours and try your hand at driving it into a nearby skyscraper.

Original posting from November 15, 2016

How do you feel about the new normal? When you put your legs on in the morning, do you lace them up one foot in front of the other? If a friend coins another tired cliché, who is the first member of your party to assign it a hashtag on Twitter? When you run out of questions, do you feel overwhelmed by the continuing flood of answers the cosmos keeps bombarding you with, many of which make perfect sense?

Well, I guess all’s still right with the world, Pippa. Don’t forget to render your co-pay to Caesar Cipher in the lobby on your way out.

P.S. In case it isn’t obvious, this imaginary site is under imaginary fabrication. It incorporates the missions of the Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge, and Laundromat, the Asshole Anti-Defamation League, Uncommon Sense, Doctor Faustroll Writes the Wrongs, The Anarchist Film Study Group, the Antisocial Revolutionary Anadarko Federation, the Nation of Miserable Fucks (NOMF™), and the Symbionese Liberation Coast Guard, providing one-stop shopping for all your imaginary needs.

Now move the fuck along before somebody tases you.

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