Cognitive Dissent

Deport Spanky’s Illegal Children

When Spanky Ubu signs his executive order tearing up the 14th amendment and doing away with birthright citizenship, I hope ICE is prepared to sweep in & confiscate all of Der Donald’s children (with the exception of Tiffany) for being the illegal demon spawn of foreign born hookers.

Or would that be an unintended consequence of his stupid electioneering?

One Day 7 Hours Until All Heck Is Unleashed

I am on many mailing lists because time is made to be wasted, and among the #BeBest time wasters has to be anything oozing from the House of tRump. Here’s one I got today from Son of Spanky.

People often ask me why I always where a button that says: “I DID IT!”

It’s unsolicited emails like this commending me for whatever terrible shit is going on in the world that makes me understand somebody needs to take some responsibility. It might as well be me.

Why Twitter Can’t Ban Domestic Terrorists


While @jack and his crew of #VeryFinePeople keep letting Nazis, white supremacists, Klan apologists and the Wannabe Führer of the United States threaten and intimidate ethnic minorities and average Americans with minority viewpoints, they find plenty of time and resources to censo.., err, suspend satirical writers and lifelong pataphysicists whose gibes and burns are just too vicious for the high tech pantywaists and schoolmarms who want nothing more than total control of what Americans think, write, or do.

At the beginning of my current 7-day suspension for mocking feckless #Repugnicunts @tomilahren and @megynkelly, I filed an appeal of @Twitter’s arbitrary and capricious enforcement of their kakistocratic rules by simple calling them censorious cunts, thinking nothing would come of it.

Nothing did, except this meritocratic horse exhaust:

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Meanwhile Twitter continues to allow Spanky and his gang to post incitements to violence 24 hours a day 7 days a week without so much as an occasional #shadowban while those of us mocking the powerful and playfully engaging in the deflation of pompous windbags can expect to spend hours or days silenced for daring to laugh at the assholes in the emperor’s and empresses’ hoary clothes.

Until this morning, Twitter had a placeholder on my feed (@doctorfaustroll) for a deleted tweet on October 24, 2018 that said the tweet had been removed for violating Twitter’s terms of service, but I just noticed that even that placeholder is now gone. This is the tweet that offended them so:

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I still have 2 days and 7 hours left in detention rolling spitballs, pissing into balloons and filling paper bags with dog shit that I will begin deploying on Twitter in 2 days, 7 hours & 30 seconds. Wear foul weather gear. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

The horror. The horror.

How Twitter Defines Hateful Conduct

I’m suspended from Twitter again. I’m either in Twitter timeout or Shadowbanned at least weekly, but I find this latest suspension the most fucking oxymoronic yet.

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I can only assume that @jack and @TwitterSupport were offended that I was mocking some seriously diseased assholes. 

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