In a previous life I was on the CIMA Product Safety Council

It was a much easier job than hanging turkeys at the Ralston Purina plant in Springdale, Arkansas. In fact, I don’t remember much about my duties or responsibilities beyond attending a couple of conferences and talking with other people who worked for companies that only cared about product safety to minimize their liability when one of their products contributed to the death of a future Trump supporter. You think people only recently became dumber than fenceposts? Shame on you.

One of my favorite parts of working in product safety was designing safety warnings and instructions that I suspected no one really paid attention, because that’s the American Way. It’s what makes us great, which goes a long way toward explaining what current president* and toxic shock precipitant Donnie Osymandias Drumpf means by establishing a new Amurikan Reich.

Here’s a nifty poster you can print and hang in your own workplace to inspire you the way middle management often does while making you hide your involuntary cringe.


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