Mock them up! Mock them up!

You know what really pisses me off?

Published by drfaustroll under Literary Terrorism, Pataphysics, Phynality, Poopadoodle
December 29, 2008


The absence of anything. That’s what pisses me off.

And you know what? My entire life has been spent observing the absence of anything. So many things I’ve encountered that I have questioned have only resulted in actions intended to crush me. This does not make me special. I’m sure hundreds of millions of others have likewise been bludgeoned by morons and thugs and beneficent authority figures as they wend their way through a terrestrial existence ruled by nothing.

Take the Holy Land.


Nothing does not imply, by the way, a lack of matter. Matter, after all, is simply the inert form of energy, which is what the universe depends upon to continue to do whatever the fuck it does. I am not convinced that the universe has any purpose or that life contributes to or derives any value from whatever the implied purpose that thousands of years of preserved philosophy pretend to present as truth, should there be one, which is highly improbable, implausible, and likely impossible.

My goal in life is to laugh forever. I have been digitizing my laughter and sending it out on an improvised radio telescope that is designed to interfere with official efforts costing billions of dollars that are not going to make life better for any of the unfortunate idiots involved in gullible travel from one stupid place to the next idiotic destination.

You know why?

Really? You haven’t a clue? Shit. I was hoping that somebody knew. Well, fuck me then.

What actually inspired this post was the recent Pew Research poll that found that most Americans no longer give a shit about outgoing President George W. Bush and wouldn’t give a fat rat’s booty if that worthless piece of shit was suddenly vaporized by a cosmic ray from an intelligent life force somewhere in the cosmos, even accidentally. Assuming there is such a thing, which all of my personal experience seems to refute.

What pissed me off most is that the Pew Research assholes didn’t include my ongoing descriptions for the 43rd malignancy in charge of the NOMF™ since before his election was certified in 2000 by the least inspiring cluster fuck of judicial arbiters since the introduction of Twinkies.

You can view the complete article here, but first you must understand that Goober or The First Idiot could have piled up significant tallies if the braindead sample had been given the opportunity to vote on those terms.

I introduced both terms into the NOMF vocabulary without asking for compensation, although I am now reconsidering that inebriated decision.

There’s a chart of the terms surveyed in the Pew poll and the perfectly predictable results.

Imagine if these scumbuckets could have included a few imaginative descriptions of the lame dick leader of the NOMF. What a wonderful world it could be.

Go to sleep now. You have to get up in the morning and do it again. Amen. To paraphrase and corrupt Jackson Browne.

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