There’s nothing funny about unsafe driving

Was I being overly unfair on the Bush girls? Whatever happened to Little Timmy McVeigh after his escape?


Bush Twins Suspected In Fatal Crash

Marshall Proust
The March of Mimes
All The News To Give You Fits
Yossarian Universal News Service
May 31 2001 9:32PM

NORTH LITTLE ROCK (YU) – Dubyamint twins Babs and Jenna Elfman Bush are being sought in connection with a chain reaction accident on I-30 that left more than 230,000 people dead and nearly one million injured. The under-aged drinkers are believed to have started the accident when they tossed a Secret Service agent from their speeding Jetta while attempting to elude mainstream paparazzi.

The Bushes were apparently on their way to Terra Haute, Indiana, where, according to close underage friends, “they plan to party hardy when their daddy puts Little Timmy McVeigh down on Flag Day.” Their father, President Goober W. Bush is rumored to be planning a surprise visit Monday to administer a lethal injection to the Oklahoma City diversabomber.

Officials are calling the I-30 accident the worst vehicular disaster on planet earth since the 1987 collision in Addis Ababa caused when the driver of an oxen-powered famine-relief cart swerved to avoid a life-sized dummy tossed from an overpass by vandals onto one of Ethiopia’s busiest thoroughfares. The official death toll in that catastrophe stands at 1,342,682, although many believe hundreds of thousands of missing are still buried beneath a pile of twisted wood and straw in that Central African nation.

The Bush twins have frequently been in the news in recent weeks as they attempt to establish careers as tabloid personalities.
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Posted: Thu - May 31, 2001 at 04:08 PM


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