Lawyers: Moron Is Not A Little Moron

Like most of my work, this piece was inspired by an actual news account involving Texas, the mentally disabled, executing the mentally disabled, the prison-industrial complex, supplyside corrections, and much younger, if equally dumb, Rick Perry.

Bush Successor Rejects Protection For Intellectual Losers

Timothy McVeigh
Disgruntled Desk
The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic
June 18, 2001 05:01 AM 

DALLAS (YU) —  Gov. Martin "Ricky" Perry of Texas left church early on Sunday to veto legislation that would have banned the execution of the mentally disabled by means of castration. The governor said there were already too many laws designed to protect retards in capital cases, and that the only idiots he saw connected with capital punishment in his state were "the bleeding heart jerks with their signs outside the prisons."

That position pretty much summed up what President Goober W. Bush said before he left to be mooned in Europe last week: epileptics, water-heads  and other losers should never be put down like egg-sucking dogs no matter what their political leanings, and the court system protects against the innocent slaughter of even such undesirable elements of society.

Perry's decision, made with the aftertaste of the Eucharist still lingering on his unflappable tongue, will no doubt result in further criticism of the United States community police state overseas. The President, who has been dubbed Darth Goober by millions of protestors in the free world, was almost unable to return home from his failed European campaign swing when death penalty opponents threw themselves into the engines of Air Force One. 

Bush was extremely disappointed that Europe had “no real big important elections where people from states like Belgium, Luxemburger' Pizzaville, and the Bohunks could rally around a real leader, such as we have to do in our Unitable States of American people."

Although Bush and Perry (who is rumored to be the defective offspring of former Chicago Bear standout Richard “Refrigerator" Perry) claim that Texas had not put anyone to sleep who was mentally disabled, supporters of the failed legislation say that 46 inmates with IQs of 50 or lower have had their genitals hacked off and bled to death since February of this year.

People with IQs that low are generally considered mentally handicapped, although many can be trained to become elected officials or responsible voters.

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