The more things change...

As I've been going back cleaning up typos and other slips (never of intention or derision, because I think that the first burst of insight into the problem presented by common sense is often more insightful than anything Christ would have to say, if he wasn't already 2000 years dead, and an uppity jew to begin with), I recognize that I'm not good. 

I don't want be good. Being good doesn't make me feel good. Making you feel good doesn't make me feel good. In fact, nothing makes me feel good, to the point that I have begun to suspect that people like me are not born into this shit hole to feel good, and we are not here to make you feel good, whoever you are, and that makes me feel good. That's enough for me.

I'm currently in the market for fingers from Iraq voters. I'm paying a dime a finger, but it's got to be purple and fresh. I don't want stale fingers from dead people who weren't willing to sacrifice their lives to promote freedomocracy to help the First Idiot convince Americans to dismantle the Social Security system because the Iraqinese were willing to vote for blank slates on meaningless ballots with candidates they may never learn the names of until the next century.

Already I've got 3,000 purple fingers, or more than the equivalent sanctioned body count for the day that changed everything, even after discarding nearly 9,000 fingers that were clearly not the sanctioned index fingers required to validate the election of a bunch of morons yet to be named. I know a Rockefeller salute when I see one.

What am I going to do with more than 9,000 fingers that don’t meet the expressly stated requirements of our rebate program?

I've been feeding a handful every night to the coyotes, but they're not really hungry. At the current consumption rate, I'm not sure when I'll be able to clean out the garage. I would really like to include fingers from the President and his supporters. Wasn't it brave how they displayed them during the State of the Union address? I'll pay 20 cents a digit for those worthless appendages. Hell, I'd be willing to pay a dollar for entire limbs off those arrogant pissants. 

Let's really bring it on. I can't take much more of the lunacy called The American Way.

Originally posted: Thursday - February 03, 2005 at 08:17 PM  

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