Wake Me When Orange Julius Caesar's Term Is Over

Trump has a way to go to beat Fubar W. Bush as the most rested First Idiot in the history of these Untied States of Dysphoria. This piece appears to be a companion to another depicting the real arrangement that led to Fubar’s infamous Patients’ Bill of Rights.

Bush Loses Patience: Goes On Vacation

Dr. Faustroll, Director
The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic  
August 2, 2001 06:02PM 

WASHINGTON (YU) - President Bush  agreed to perform oral sex in the Oval Office last Wednesday with a pivotal Republican lawmaker, clearing the way to leave for Texas on a long overdue vacation with his dogs and brain-damaged wife Laura. Bush had spent nearly an entire week at the White House, and aides admit his attention to detail was beginning to flag. Bush told a hastily arranged White House news conference that his vacation would meet his principles by protecting the country from his incompetence without encouraging "frivolous lawsuits."

"After a lot of labor and a lot of squeezing, we washed hands in he Oval Office about 10 minutes ago," Bush said, standing alongside Rep. Charles Norwood, the Georgia Republican who has worked closely with Democrats in recent years on presidential vacation and patients' right issues. 

"This intimate encounter does protect the interests of this nation," said Norwood, who hitched up his shorts as he followed Bush to the White House podium for the late-afternoon announcement. "We had some hard differences to overcome, but we have accomplished the very goal we set forth in our pre-coital agreement, which is to save the republic."

The announcement marked a personal triumph for Bush, who recently returned from a European vacation and demanded that he have the same vacation rights as the French, who apparently take off the entire month of August. 

Bush had threatened to veto Senate-passed legislation that Norwood and Democrats were attempting to push through the House to limit his yearly out of office time to five months, instead of six months with bi-weekly erotological examinations, as Bush was demanding. 

Bush's handlers feel it important to examine the presidential rectum on a regular basis to prevent the growth of foreign policy polyps in Bush's tush that might turn him into the kind of radical porpoise Flipper Reagan became. Thus far only cancerous growths have been discovered in Goober's poop chute, which supports the widely held theory that the nation's leader is a malignant asshole.

® Copyright 2001, Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates. All Rights Reserved. The Portland Pataphysical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat, a leisure service of the Church of the Oven of Peace, provides imaginary solutions to your imaginary problems. Accept no substitutes. Leading the blind since 1896.

©1941-2019 Faustroll, Ligi, and Associates, in conjunction with The Portland Physical Outpatient Clinic, Lounge and Laundromat and The Church of the Oven of Peace.
Providing Imaginary Cures For Your Imaginary Problems Since 1896. Accept No Substitutes.